Why do we fall in love?
To fall in love is what any of us want, to live happily ever after with someone we love so deeply. But what happens when you are the only one falling? It feels like you are edging closer and closer to the cliffside and then one day you just fall. But it feels like your whole world has come crashing down in that one moment.
I was in love once. At least I thought I was in love although I now know I was mistaken. You see this wasn’t the fairytale love I had pictured, I just kept thinking nothing is ever perfect it will get better. I was right nothing was ever perfect but this was far from perfect this wasn’t even remotely good. This was feeling so trapped, I remember just being in a room with you felt like I was gasping for air. The way you made me feel was suffocating. I couldn’t reach out to anyone because no one was there you had taken that away from me as if it was a basic right that needed to be earned. So i tried. I tried so very hard to get back everything I was losing so rapidly, my self worth, my confidence, my ambition. My family and friends. Yet no matter how hard I tried everything felt so out of reach. Every time I felt like i was regaining some sort of normal life back you ripped it from under my feet and I was falling once again. Down a dark hole, the further i fell the harder it was to climb back up. You destroyed me. You broke me down with your harsh words and every time I escaped your clutches you pulled me back in with your manipulation and control. You would promise me the world but little did I know all those promises would be left broken. Whatever we thought we were. Whatever I thought that was, it definitely was not love. It was some twisted, messed up view of love that I wouldn’t wish on anyone. It was a distorted mess of what I thought I wanted so badly, it was what i believed love to be. But now i am learning what love truly is. It is promises being kept. It is kind, loving words, It is being around someone who uplifts you and motivates you to be your most brilliant self. It is being with them in a room and feeling complete peace and safety. And just like that I climbed out of the hole you pushed me in and I was able to breathe again. So why do we fall in love? We fall in love to have someone to share our passion for life with. Not to fix us but to walk along side us while we continue to fix ourselves and to make us laugh and smile along the way. And most importantly we must remember there is not much point investing so much time in trying to change someone who continues to break us when we can invest so much more time in loving the ones who make us feel whole.